How is it that someone who was once the wife enduring the pain of a cheating spouse ends up being the other woman? Stupidity. I mean come on, we have all seen enough Lifetime original movies to know that this is not a good idea. He’s not gonna leave his wife for you and even if he did…do you really think he won’t cheat on you?! Duh!
But what if…..you had a friend who was living the unhappily ever after that you were once painfully firmiliar with so you get his misery and whoops you accidentally fall flat on your stupid face in love with that friend? Then what? Shut your mouth and move on? (A smart girl woulda)
Oh no…not me…I fell into it head first..no helmet and apparently no brain. Dumbass…your friend still has a WIFE…really…run dummy run…
Coulda shoulda woulda….
Instead I bought into the sweet talk, the flowers, the constant attention. I believed he loved me. Jesus…how ridiculous! Looking back I know why I believed that crap. For the first time in my pathetic love life someone was giving me the compliments and sending me the flowers and being the shoulder I needed to cry on. Someone FINALLY wanted me, needed me and spoiled me friggin rotten with all the sweetness a girl wants to hear. Swept me off my feet more than once and more than once I found myself running into the fact that I couldn’t love him because he was her husband. But I did love him…
He got me like nobody got me. I understood him and what he was going thru. I listened when he needed to talk…he listened when I needed him. He picked me up numerous times giving me the pep talk I needed to umpf my way outta the gray days…he always said exactly what I needed to hear. Except of course for “i’ve left my wife” which we all know is what shoulda been said long before I fell for him. He was everything I thought I wanted…except for available.
So for months I went on loving someone elses husband from a distance. I wanted to be with him but I couldn’t be a home wrecker any longer. I sure as shit didn’t like being cheated on and the thought if being “the mistress” made me so ashamed.
Love him or not…he’s married. Run run run
And so as time went on I had to face the facts.
1)He’s not leaving his wife.
2)He doesn’t love you he’s a sweet talker and you’re a sucker.
3) And even if he left her…it would only be a matter of time before he left me.
There’s no point, there’s no chance here…time to move on. I have for the most part….I KNOW that we cannot and never will be together…but here’s the thing…why do I still miss him?
Single Parent Bloggers Rock;>
Damn, that’s my story in reverse. I was the mistress first – but to my defense didn’t find out he was MARRIED with 2 CHILDREN until I was sporting a rock on my left hand and carrying his 3rd child. Then SHE calls my cell phone wanting to speak to HER husband and I’ll all like WHAT?!? Yeah, guess what, he left like a month after my son was born. Two months later he called from a pay phone in Missouri to say he was engaged and wanted nothing to do with my son . Nice….So I feel your pain, but you’re doing the right thing. They look for women like us. But you’ve got this girl!! After all you’ve been through you’re a rock and I heart you for it! Keep going girl!!!
Ouch…..that was so lovely to call you & update you on his marital status after the fact:)
Ugh…in this story I was the mistress myself….shameful yet true. I have also been the wifey whose hubby was a he-whore. Been on both sides of this icky story some women find themselves in….Ive lived them both and learned from them both. No man is ever worth the pain if having to “share” him……
So after Mr. Meth, alcohol (Im not ready for that story yet) and the married man……whats a girl like me….who CLEARLY loves jerks…supposed to do? Revoke her own rights to date? Done ;)
XOXO
Your just following your heart, so don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s not like you exactly know what “healthy relationships” look like.
I think you need to take a step back and get healthy yourself and then jump back into the pool. There really are good people out there, you just need to love you first.
PS I am great at giving advise, but sucky at dong it myself, so I will be working along side of you trying to get me healthy too.
Hindsight is 20-20, right? The good thing is that you made the decision to move past him. And if you miss him, that’s ok. Regardless of his marital status, you did love him and there has to be at least some amount of grieving for what could have been. ((hugs))
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