This is interesting….mostly because the quote below..the sperm one….yeah, that one. I said it. Apparently it’s caused a rukus and I am getting no credit for it what-so-ever. I take that back. A very large sperm bank, known nationally, is now following yours truly on twitter and you know how twitter makes me feel famous. (Plus-the avatar is a lil spermy swimming around which I find amusing) That’s my kinda credit! Thanks for the follow @cryobank 
@KatWilder said this:
Yeah, I know I just wrote about choice moms, but I then I got a tweet from Singlemommyhood —“Thanks for the sperm, but I’ll take it from here.”
OK, tweeting something like that gets someone’s attention; it certainly got mine. It’s provocative, if a tad antagonistic toward men. Kind of like a guy tweeting — Thanks for the sex, but you’re just a piece of ass to me, so I’ll take it from here.
Feel good?
As it turns out, the mom who wrote that isn’t a choice mom; she’s divorced, like I am. But, that’s an odd attitude to promote in a discussion about
supporting choice mothers, isn’t it?
When I read this I honestly laughed so hard I almost pissed myself. All I could hear was the theme song from “Dexter” except it’s starring me and my slides of sperm I keep from each of my sexual endeauvours just in case I want a baby at some point later on.
CLEARLY, that was my objective all along. At the age of seventeen I knew it was my destiny to become the “She-Dexter of DNA”.
Damnit. Did it again. Almost pissed myself laughing so hard but come on…..can’t you just see the pilot episode now?! I’m totally casting the donors in my mind right now….
I honestly do not see the relation between what I said and “thanks for the poontang” but whatever…opinions are like assholes….some assholes are more….well, narrow, than others.
So here’s the deal @Kat, you’re right. I am not a choice mom as it’s defined as “being a single woman who proactively decides to build a family on her own.”
I did not proactively decide to build a family on my own.
I was given the gift of motherhood from a greater power than my own decision making and I made the proactive choice to pursue a healthy, safe and loving home for my gift, now known as the PIT, even after the man that I once loved and trusted for several years, chose to crumble to his knees sucking the Devils dick aka smoking meth
(ever met a meth addict Kat? Ever watched them twitch with paranoia wondering who or what is around them….ever looked into a meth addicts eyes to see nothing, no soul… You say I’m divorced just like you so tell me…did your husband try to kill you or steal the baby from you? Did you fear for your life? How exactly am I at all like you? PS-Having terminated parental rights puts me way past this full custody thing you speak of. Please don’t insult my lawyer. She fought her ass off for me and the PIT.)
There is a difference. Recently I stumbled upon Mikki Morrissette and ChoiceMoms.
I assure you…there IS a difference between ‘them’ and ‘moms like me’. I think Ms. Morrissette says it best here
“To me, obviously anyone who is a single parent is a single parent and we share a lot of the same stresses because of it. So there is a circle that we are all in. But women who proactively become a single parent from the very start do not need to talk about child support, and tension with the ex, and tremendous loss and trauma for her and child, and custody battles. We tend to need to talk — a lot — about HOW to conceive or adopt, and then how to handle newborn baby boot camp, and then how to talk about the lack of a father, or being donor conceived. Those are very different party conversations so I see no problem in having our own “club” in which to talk about it. It’s not a matter of Choice Moms “counting” more. It’s about what we need to talk about and finding women in the same situation to talk to — at my Choice Mom networking events, this website, the discussion board, the podcast, the books.”
If things had been different in my life…if I were at a point in my life where I was financially able to and if at that point in my life I wanted a child, yet had no manfriend, I would have no problem dialing up @cryobank and getting some sperm
(calm down. I know it’s not that easy, I’m actually in awe at what some women go through trying to get pregnant. I’m very well aware of how blessed I am…I also made the proactive choice to not abuse this God given fertility. My tubes are tied and fried, I’m on the pill and I’m a tease…eye candy at best…touch me and I’ll shoot you. I have ISSUES)
So what’s my point here? I don’t give a shit how one got to parenthood, what matters is how you handle your gift of guidance aka parenting. I like the variety of moms and dads I’ve met over the years. Married, single, bitter, romantic, gay, solo, not so solo….whatever….I enjoy hearing the stories behind the parents, perhaps that is why I’m so friggin fabulous….we all have a story, I like to hear em and I like to be the obnoxious foul mouthed cheerleader for single moms, single dads and whom ever else I feel is worthy of my effort. Am I a big deal? Only in my mind but so what.
When I left that comment at Singlemommyhood, the one that was taken out of context and twisted into what would be a badass show, I was there simply showing support for mothers…ALL mothers, something I do often and won’t be easing up on anytime soon.
My mistake Kat, you’re right, I’m not a Choice Mom. I applaud those who are and to them I say “WooHooo! Welcome to motherhood!!”
I’m a mom with a choice and a voice. I use both and I use them well.
As for your question of “are fathers irrelevant”…..
Don’t be silly. Of course they are not irrelevant. DNA doesn’t make a father, it makes a baby.
I stand by my previous statement. There’s more to being a dad than DNA. Act the part or get the fuck out.
My favorite quote from Mikki is this: Can we do things alone? Yes. Is that the goal? No.
Perfectly said, thank you Ms. Morrisette.
Did I want to do this alone at the time? Nope.
Like I said I’m not a choice mom, I’m a mom with a choice and I didn’t sign up for this shit….I was GIVEN it and it’s been the greatest gift I never knew I wanted.
Let me set this straight for you @KatWilder
Yes. There is a difference in Choice Moms vs Moms with a Choice.
Is that difference relevant? Nope. At the end of the day we’re all still parents who love our children and do our best to raise them well.
I bet if you take a look around at some of the Choice Moms who have older children now…..I bet they are fabulous and captivating creatures that are nowhere near doomed simply because they were raised my one parent.
Before you pass out anymore judgement miss thang, do your research first.
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/2010/04/05/chapter-9final-in-the-book-of-meth/
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/sometimes-being-a-single-mom-blows/
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/2010/04/29/do-as-i-say-not-as-i-do/
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/2010/04/25/i-didnt-sign-up-for-shit-i-was-given-this/
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/2010/04/07/the-dad-issue/
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/2010/04/06/she-misses-her-what/
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/2009/04/
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/2009/06/18/just-so-you-know/
http://notyouraveragesinglemomma.com/2009/06/18/fine-not-all-men-are-assclowns/
That should keep you busy for a bit
PS—Choice Moms out there……#assslap Sending you all my warm fertile vibes…..best wishes!! I’m not gonna lie.
Being a mom ROCKS
(even when being a single mom blows)
